LOOKING BACK

It's been three years two months and two days since my spinal cord surgery. Last night after our trip to the corn maze my back was killing me and my left leg was mostly numb. On nights like that it makes it soooo hard, not only to sleep, but to ignore that not so long ago I had a spinal cord tumor.

Today I logged onto the Spinal Cord Tumor Association’s website and on the front page was a spotlight story about Sgt. Richard Smith. http://www.spinalcordtumor.homestead.com/Spotlight_story_Richard.html
His symptoms before and after surgery were so similar to mine that it was spooky. I didn’t struggle too much with depression after my surgery like he did, nor did I take much pain medication, but after surgery was much worse than before surgery in many ways.

The biggest frustration was adjusting to a new life. And in so many ways, it WAS a new life. I had to learn to walk with a partially numb leg, I had to deal with constant back pain and muscle pains. For a while there if I stepped to hard, or jumped I would get a sharp "jolt" up my leg. Those were caused by fluid buildup at the surgical site and boy am I so glad those are mostly gone. I couldn't run, which with a four year old was tough, and I had to come to terms with so many more limitations and things that I would never be able to do again.

I remember the struggles so vividly, and in looking back, I don’t know how I managed to go back to work after 3 weeks and with the amount of pain I was in. It’s amazing what one can do if they put their mind and heart into it. Which brings me back to Sgt. Richard Smith. He went back to active duty and is now serving in Iraq. He has to carry military equipment and sleep on a less than comfy bed. Not only is he a survivor, but he is an inspiration to me.

So this morning I started looking up spinal cord tumors just to see if anything had changed in the past 3 years. I didn’t find anything promising, but I did learn something about my tumor that I didn’t know.

This comes from the Mayo Clinic Website: ( I had a schwannoma tumor)

• Intradural-extramedullary tumors. These tumors develop in the spinal cord's arachnoid membrane (meningiomas), in the nerve roots that extend out from the spinal cord (schwannomas and neurofibromas) or at the spinal cord base (filum terminale ependymomas). Meningiomas occur most often in women age 40 and older. Although almost always benign, they can be difficult to remove and may sometimes recur. Nerve root tumors also are generally benign, although neurofibromas can become malignant over time. Ependymomas at the end of the spinal cord are often large, and their treatment may be complicated by the extensive system of nerves in that area.

I didn’t know that my tumor stared in a nerve root that extended out from the spinal cord. I suppose the neurosurgeon probably told me at one time, but if he did, it didn’t stick in my brain. I knew that my tumor had extended out along a nerve that ran along one of my ribs.

So today became a day of reflection, a day to look back at the past three years since surgery, and in reality, the past 8 years since symptoms started appearing, and take a look at where I was and where I am today.

Although I still struggle, almost on a daily basis, life is GOOD! My pain level is bearable and I rarely have to take a prescription med to get through the day. I'm also learning to deal with the muscle issues in my back and the tightness and pain they cause. Last year for Christmas I purchased a massaging chair and boy has it helped.

I can walk, and actually a year ago I realized that I could run in short sprints if I was really careful where I put my feet... after all, I still have loss of sensation in my left leg and right foot. Overall I am doing great and happy with my life. And most of all I'm grateful that I was diagnosed with this condition in a time when medical technology had grown to be able to handle the outcome in a much better manor.