4 Years

Today is an anniversary of sorts for me. Four years ago today was my surgery to remove a Nerve Sheath Schwannoma Tumor from my spinal cord.

Part of me feels like the last four years have been the longest in my life, and part of me feels like it has gone by pretty fast. The first year and a half was the hardest, and even though I still have really really bad days, it is so much better than it was in the beginning. The best part is that I'm here, I can walk and I can live a mostly normal life.

The pain is still there. The nerve pain in my left leg is irritating, the numbness is annoying but it is the muscle pain in my back that has the capacity to bring me to my knees. But most days I can deal with the pain with little problems and I'm grateful for that.

With Emmi being older now and able to help out so much more than she could at age 4 it certainly helps. She can help with chores around the house so that I don't overdue it. (even though I still sometimes do)

I haven't had my MRI for the year, so I can't post that there is no regrowth, because I don't know that yet. I need to call and schedule the appointment, but part of me is always frightened to find out. It is that part of me that is afraid that Dr. Bryson Smith wasn't able to get it all, or that I have another one growing somewhere else. That is my worst fear.

I'm sure everything is just fine... it has been for several years. I just have unnecessary fears.

I'll let you all know what the results are in a month or so when I know.

But until then... Happy Anniversary to ME!